Back at work

Today, I went back to work after 13.5 months of being on maternity leave. I am very grateful to have had that long to spend with Sophia fulltime. But now, I have to start making money and devoting time to my career again. Sophia is doing well at daycare and, so far, has not had any big crying fits. I know that she will not receive the same level of care and attention in the daycare as I have been giving her. I have spent the last 13.5 months creating a perfect cocoon for my baby, where she gets as much rest as she needs, eats as much as possible, stays clean and tidy, and gets comforted the moment she gets upset. That cocoon will not exist in daycare and a friend wisely advised me to just let it go. I still worry, though, especially when she gets home from the daycare and she has a lot of left-overs from lunch and napped less than two hours all day. By 5pm, she is exhausted and cranky, and we have to get her ready for bed right after she eats dinner, which means we hardly get to spend much play time with her. For most of the time she is awake, we’re busy dressing her up, feeding her, or bathing her. Given that reality, I am very happy and grateful that I am able to work for only three days a week. She can recover from her very active day at daycare with a relaxing day with me.

A friend asked me today what it felt like being back at work. I said it felt like wearing a pair of old shoes - very comfortable. It felt good. Aside from forgetting all my passwords, it felt like I never really left. I spent most of the day setting up my new laptop (yay!), resetting my passwords, getting my development environment up to date, getting reacquainted with the systems we use in the office, and saying hello to my colleagues. I have spent so many hours in that office that it feels like my second home. It’s a good environment to be in as I ease myself back into work mode and learn how to juggle the responsibilities of parenthood and work. Actually, I have to “ease myself” back pretty quickly. In three weeks, I’m going on my first post-baby business trip. Welcome back!