Back at work

Today, I went back to work after 13.5 months of being on maternity leave. I am very grateful to have had that long to spend with Sophia fulltime. But now, I have to start making money and devoting time to my career again. Sophia is doing well at daycare and, so far, has not had any big crying fits. I know that she will not receive the same level of care and attention in the daycare as I have been giving her. I have spent the last 13.5 months creating a perfect cocoon for my baby, where she gets as much rest as she needs, eats as much as possible, stays clean and tidy, and gets comforted the moment she gets upset. That cocoon will not exist in daycare and a friend wisely advised me to just let it go. I still worry, though, especially when she gets home from the daycare and she has a lot of left-overs from lunch and napped less than two hours all day. By 5pm, she is exhausted and cranky, and we have to get her ready for bed right after she eats dinner, which means we hardly get to spend much play time with her. For most of the time she is awake, we’re busy dressing her up, feeding her, or bathing her. Given that reality, I am very happy and grateful that I am able to work for only three days a week. She can recover from her very active day at daycare with a relaxing day with me.

A friend asked me today what it felt like being back at work. I said it felt like wearing a pair of old shoes - very comfortable. It felt good. Aside from forgetting all my passwords, it felt like I never really left. I spent most of the day setting up my new laptop (yay!), resetting my passwords, getting my development environment up to date, getting reacquainted with the systems we use in the office, and saying hello to my colleagues. I have spent so many hours in that office that it feels like my second home. It’s a good environment to be in as I ease myself back into work mode and learn how to juggle the responsibilities of parenthood and work. Actually, I have to “ease myself” back pretty quickly. In three weeks, I’m going on my first post-baby business trip. Welcome back!

She didn't miss me

I left Sophia by herself at the daycare today for hour and a half.  She didn't cry or even notice that I had left.  She played and played and enjoyed herself.  She did reward me with a big smile when I came to pick her up.  I am relieved.  I hope the rest of the transition goes as smoothly as it did today.

Daycare starts

Today was the first day of daycare for Sophia. She will be going to daycare three days a week. This morning, I stayed with her the whole time but didn’t interact with her, unless she came to me. I sat back and let her be. We arrived at 9am and stayed for 1 hour and 45 mins. She played, walked around, had a snack, and even sat on the lap of one of the staff members, Ivy. I think Sophia wanted more oatmeal (she was the first one to finish her bowl of oatmeal) and so she went over to Ivy to try and get more. There is a little slide in the play area outside and Sophia climbed up the three little steps, sat down at the top of the slide, and went down the slide on her own. It was fun watching her figure out how to do it all on her own. It also broke my heart to realize that, while she’s at the daycare centre, she won’t be getting nearly as much one-on-one attention as she gets from me. There was a little boy, Evan, who started crying when he realized that his dad had left. He was inconsolable and I started to tear up because I can picture that child being Sophia. I had a hard time keeping it together as I listened to Evan cry. A staff member, Andrea, held him the entire time he was crying, trying to comfort him. He eventually fell asleep in Andrea’s arms, exhausted from crying.

Tomorrow, I leave Sophia at the daycare centre for an hour and a half. She will stay longer and longer each day and by next Friday, she will stay the whole day. I am instructed to not sneak out, that I have to say bye-bye when I leave. I have a feeling it will be harder for me than Sophia. Maybe her big crying day will be next week when she realizes that this bye-bye business isn’t just for a day or two. I am hoping that Sophia will take it all in stride and adjust well to this new reality. She’s resilient and I know she will be okay. I think she’ll handle it better than I will!

Whiny, whiny

Sophia has been working on her whining and frowning skills. It’s amusing, most of the time, but I have to admit the whining grates on my nerves sometimes. I am getting better, however, at tuning it out. ha!

Here are some photos to prove that she’s not always a smiley baby...

One year

The past year has just zoomed by! August 3 was when I went into labour (Sophia was born at 12:40am on August 4) and last Wednesday, I found myself thinking back to last year a lot and saying “this time last year...” as I replayed in my mind the events leading up to Sophia’s birth.  I’m still in shock that Sophia is already a year old.

Ed and I decided not to have a kids party for Sophia because she’s too young to know what’s going on anyway.  We invited our families and a few close friends to join us for lunch this past weekend, instead.  On her birthday, Sophia’s playmates, Nelly and Violet, came by for a playdate in the morning. In the evening, Ed’s mom cooked and Ed’s brother joined us for dinner. After dinner, we gave Sophia a little cupcake with a candle on it, sang happy birthday, and took pictures. Sophia looked confused by the whole thing and just stared at the cupcake set in front of her. She poked it with her finger then promptly ignored it. I offered her a little piece but she refused to eat it. That’s okay. I’m happy to not have her eating the sweet treats just yet.

Sophia is growing so fast! She’s a happy baby and flashes that adorable smile all the time. She is starting to respond to questions and requests, actively communicate to us what she wants or dislikes, throw little tantrums to show her displeasure (yikes!), and play interactively with us. Her personality is definitely showing more and more. She doesn’t like getting dirty and walking on or touching grass. She loves the water. She doesn’t like mixing her food together. (Yes, she’s clearly my daughter! hahaha)

And since she is one year old already, we decided it was time to trim her hair to clean it up a bit.  I cut her bangs and the long bits at the back.  I was nervous going into it but Sophia was quite cooperative, surprisingly and thankfully.  Her hair actually looks good!  Not bad for a first time.

Happy birthday, our dear Sophia. Mommy and daddy love you very much! We are soooo very lucky to have you in our lives.

Playing with Nelly and Violet.

The birthday girl enjoying the sunshine.

Sophia checking out the cupcake.

Birthday cake!

With my mom and sister.

Sophia and her cousins Camille and Sabrina.

Freshly trimmed hair!