15 April 2006

Hanging up the skates, for now

Last Wednesday, my hockey team got eliminated in the first round of our playoffs. We had an excellent regular season, even going on an 18-game winning streak. Then we started to not play well and lose our groove; we ended the season on a 4-game losing streak. Doesn’t bode well for the playoffs. Sure enough, we got eliminated in the first round. It was disappointing but all in all, it was still a good season and I’m quite happy with how I played throughout the season. Last night, especially, it was important that I play well. Mainly because I had decided when the playoffs started that I would be taking a break from hockey after this year. I don’t want to use the word retire - it just sounds so definite. All that is certain at this point in time is I can’t see myself returning for another season come this winter.

It’s been a good run, though. I started playing league hockey in 1998 when I joined a novice team called the Roxy Rockettes. Yes, very tacky name but we were sponsored by The Roxy. Then I joined a team called Hurricanes and we were together for a few years. I made good friends while on that team. The first few years, I was so into hockey. I remember telling Lizza that I can’t picture not playing hockey, ever. I was almost obsessed. I was getting better and better every season. I was climbing up the divisions. I played year round - winter and spring seasons. I regularly went to public skating to work on my skating. I went to hockey school, hockey camp, practices. Name it, I signed up for it. I watched NHL games to study how they played positionally. I even had a hockey net in my apartment so I can practice shooting while watching TV. Did I mention that I was really into hockey? Totally loved everything about it.

And I still do, just in a more subtle way. I can’t devote much time to it to get better. When I got to Div 2, playing with a team called Coyotes, I realized that to get better I had to spend a lot more time and energy to hockey. Due to a combination of many things, I decided that I was not going to pursue it. I was going to play hockey... just for fun. To be honest, it was frustrating. I have since realized that what makes a sport or any pursuit enjoyable for me is the process of improving my skills. Getting better made it fun. Not getting better was just frustrating.

But being on the ice was still one of my favourite things so I kept playing. But now, it’s time to stop. For now. Who knows? I may feel differently come September. I don’t think I will but we’ll see.

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